Retreat then Restore : Revisiting the Past
by CassidyTVNut
Summary: She went away, and now she's back...but how does she explain the fact that she wasn't dead, and didn't kill herself?
1. Coming Home

Retreat then Restore...Revisiting the Past

**She went away, and now she's back...but how does she explain the fact that she wasn't dead, and didn't kill herself?**

The plane cruised through the sky like a ship did through the sea; slowly, peacefully, but with occasional turbulence rocking the boat, or the plane.

A woman in her mid 30's cradled a young baby in one of the seats, gazing at her little girls sleeping form. The baby's eyes opened and she let out a small cry. This didn't seem to faze the mother, who rocked the baby gently and said to her, 'It's okay sweetheart, we're on the plane, going to see Mummy's friend.'

The baby seemed to understand her, cooing gently back at her mother.

'It's funny how you seem to understand me, isn't it Cassie?' she asked softly, receiving another coo in reply.

Cassie began to cry rather loudly, making the woman curse slightly and say, 'Cassidy-Rica Joanne, you stop that crying right now, people are trying to sleep.'

Cassie calmed down almost instantaneously and fell back to sleep, snuffling slightly. On the intercom, the pilot announced that they would be landing in Bristol shortly.

The woman exhaled slightly, and thought about where she was going to. She was going back to Holby, back to where all of the pain lay, back to where she saw something that changed her life, and made her leave behind someone she loved, even though at that moment in time, he in no way deserved it.

She snapped out of her semi-hypnotic gaze to look at Cassie, who was still sleeping peacefully wrapped in her shawl.

She began to think about the circumstances surrounding Cassie's birth. It was sad really, the attraction she had to the man who had betrayed her, especially seeing as he was the one assigned to protect her. She couldn't help herself, once she found out she was pregnant, she had to tell him. She risked her life by doing that. He didn't care for her or Cassie, just money. And he would've killed her for the right price, that's why she had to get away from him.

So she found someone to sort her out a fake passport and booked a flight under her a new name, one he didn't know her by, and flew to a different part of Australia, where she gave birth to Cassie. As soon as Cassie was old enough, she set out for Holby, still under the fake name of Danielle Lyons, just so she couldn't be traced.

Looking out of the window, she saw clouds, peaceful, fluffy white clouds cloaked in sunshine and surrounded by the azure blue sky. She'd missed almost everything about the UK. The weather, the people, one person in particular.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the planes descent, making her ears pop as the plane dropped lower and lower. Cassie woke up, alarmed by the drop, and as her mum soothed her, she began to calm slightly.

The plane landed in Bristol and its passengers departed, heading for passport control and baggage reclaim.

She walked slowly, not wanting to hasten and hurt Cassie. Arriving at passport control, she handed over her fake one, holding her breath slightly, hoping that nothing would be said.

'Welcome back to England Miss Lyons,' said the officer.

'Thank you,' she said, walking through to baggage reclaim.

Luckily, hers and Cassie's bags came straight away, but she had to figure out a way of juggling Cassie in her buggy and the trolley of suitcases.

Looking into her carry on bag, she found a baby carrier that strapped to her chest. She opened up the buggy and put Cassie in, keeping her eye on her whilst she put on the carrier. Once it was securely on, she took Cassie out of the buggy and put her in the carrier. After that, she folded the buggy back up and balanced it on top of her suitcases on the trolley.

Wheeling the trolley out to the entrance, she was met by a taxi driver, who loaded her bags into the car.

After a reasonably long journey, she arrived in Holby, and was driven to what would be her and Cassie's new home, a small 1 bedroom flat on the ground floor.

The taxi driver was kind enough to help her with her bags, taking them into the flat for her.

'Thank you so much,' she said appreciatively.

'You're welcome,' said the driver, walking back to his car.

Walking around the flat with Cassie in her arms, she grimaced at the decor.

'Once we get on our feet we'll have to decorate this place,' she mused out loud. 'Right Cassie, we just came here to put our stuff down, we're going to take a little walk to the hospital, and meet an old friend of mine.'

She unfolded the buggy and placed Cassie in it, tucking her in with a blanket. She quickly checked the changing bag so that it contained everything she needed for Cassie.

Once it was definite that she had everything she needed, she set off out. She spent the whole walk talking to Cassie about what she used to do when she lived here, and places she used to like. Cassie cooed in answer to her mum's every question.

She walked up to the hospital and exhaled deeply before walking in through the doors. Receiving some odd looks from some, blank ones from the others, she just ignored them and carried on walking.

Arriving at Keller ward via the lift, she saw a man who looked like he was in charge. He stood tall and proud and spoke with an American accent.

'Hi,' she said with a friendly tone. 'I'm looking for Ric Griffin, can you tell me where I can find him?'

'Ahh, he's in a meeting at the moment, I can call him once he's done and tell him you're here. Who should I say is calling?' asked Michael in intrigue.

'Just say an old friend, I want to surprise him,' she replied after a moment's thought. 'Can I wait in his office? I have to feed Cassie.'

'Sure,' said Michael, guiding her to his office. 'Make yourself at home, I have to be in theatre.'

'Okay, thank you...'

'Michael. Michael Spence,' said Michael confidently.

'Michael, right,' she replied.

Once he had left, she took Cassie out of her buggy and began to feed her. Once she had been burped, she settled her down to sleep and began to look around the office, and the desk she assumed to be Ric's based on the Ghanaian beads and the picture of Leo.

Her inspection was interrupted by Ric entering the room.

'Oh my God,' he said, slowly and in shock.

'Hello Ric,' she said awkwardly, not knowing how she was going to explain her presence.

Especially when he thought that she was dead.

**So, did you like it?**

**Reviews are loved **

**And virtual cookies for those who can guess who the mystery guest is. She's one of my all time fave characters.**


	2. The Story

Retreat then Restore...Revisiting the Past

**She went away, and now she's back...but how does she explain the fact that she wasn't dead, and didn't kill herself?**

Well done to Ali Q Mulder-Scully for guessing that the mystery guest was Diane. And to Woody2792 for being there to bounce ideas off.

'_Oh my God,' he said, slowly and in shock._

'_Hello Ric,' she said awkwardly, not knowing how she was going to explain her presence._

_Especially when he thought that she was dead._

'Diane?' he said slowly, not taking his eyes off her.

'In the flesh, so to speak,' she said, attempting to be jubilant and faking a smile when inside she was trembling.

'How?' replied Ric, not being able to say much else.

'Well,' she said, gesturing for Ric to sit down and sitting down next to him. 'Obviously for one, I'm not dead, so that's how I'm here. But, I'm guessing you want more than that.'

Ric nodded his head weakly.

'Okay,' she said, exhaling deeply. 'Before the 'train accident', Elliot had given me the key to a cottage in Wales and Gina's old car. I drove down there, and settled in. I took a walk, and couldn't find my way back. I walked through an alleyway near the park, and I saw...2 men attacking this poor, innocent woman, stabbing at her like she was a piece of meat. They kept saying to her, 'This was from Johnny, he doesn't like it when his toms run away, when they don't live up to their end of the deal.' She was weeping, and whimpering in another language, Romanian I think. I thought I was in the shadows, and I thought that they couldn't see me, but they did...'

Sensing that she was about to tell him something bad, Ric waited out the awkward silence that developed.

'They left her and came for me. They made me tell them my name, and they'd go easy on me. I was punched, kicked until I was begging for my life, then they just took off, leaving me to die. I was barely conscious and every movement I made sent massive waves of pain through me. But I knew what I had to do. I needed to get an ambulance to save the both of us, even if it was too late for her, I had to try. It was in my back pocket, so I had to get hold of it. I turned over and, stage by stage, I managed to get it out. I called 999, and told them everything that happened. Almost instantly, the ambulance was there. I don't remember much after that, but the woman, Petra, was dead. Her injuries were just too severe.' She stopped talking again and began to breathe deeply.

Putting his arm around her, Ric held her close. 'Take your time Diane, I'm not going anywhere.'

Snuggling into his embrace, Diane said, 'Thank you. We got taken to the local hospital, and I gave them a fake name so that they wouldn't find me. They operated on me and I survived, obviously. The police came to talk to me afterwards, and I told them my real name, where I was from and exactly what I had seen. They told me that what I had saw, and what had happened, was the motive of an organised crime circuit that trafficked prostitutes in and around Cardiff. They also told me that my only hope was a Witness Protection Program. They were trialling faking witnesses deaths, and sending them abroad with a new identity. I was told that this was one of the only ways that they wouldn't find me. So they organised for my car to be in an accident, and found a body that looked like mine. It was made to look like suicide so that the people who attacked me would think that I killed myself so they wouldn't be able to hurt me anymore. My face was spread across the news, a memorial service was organised, everything needed to be as legitimate as possible.'

Cassie started to fidget in her buggy, and cried softly.

'What was that?' asked Ric in alarm, looking around.

'Relax Ric it's only Cassie,' she said, standing up and getting her out of the buggy, holding her close.

'Ric, meet Cassidy-Rica Joanne Lloyd, my little girl and the next stage in the story,' she said softly.

'She's beautiful,' he said, stroking the baby's face. 'She's a mini replica of you.'

'When I've told the story of her father, you'll want to kill him, and pray that Cassie is in no way like him,' she said.

'Tell me,' he replied soothingly.

'I was given the new identity of Demi Longman and flew to Australia,' she said quietly. 'The officer in charge of me was a Welsh policeman called Gavin Cunnick, who flew with me to Adelaide. He knew everything about my case, everything that I had seen, who I really was. I thought that I could trust him. Gradually, over the time that we'd spent together, I'd started to fall for him. And, on New Year's Eve 2008/2009, we spent the night together and started a relationship. In May 2009, I found out that I was 8 weeks pregnant with Cassie. I told him, thinking that it would be a new start. That's when he told me...'

'He was one of them,' said Ric quietly and in dismay, finishing her sentence.

'Yeah,' she replied softly. 'He tried to kill me, but I shot at him with the gun he was pointing at me, then I ran away. I spent a week in hiding, and found someone who could get me a British passport under a new name, Danielle Lyons. I took the plane to Sydney, and lived in a hostel there until I gave birth to Cassie. I named her Cassidy to honour my favourite grandmother Cassandra, Rica after you and Joanne after my sister. I had contacted the Police in Wales and told them everything. They had told me that Gavin had died and there would be no charges against me, and that the trafficking ring that were out for me had been liquidated. It was safe for me to come home. So I booked the flight to Bristol as soon as Cassie was old enough, and here I am.'

'Oh Diane,' he said tenderly, pulling her close. 'What you've had to been through, it's awful, no one should have to go through that. But you're here now, you're safe, no one's going to hurt you or Cassie.'

'I'm so glad that I'm back,' she said, squeezing his hand softly. 'I missed you so much. Thinking of you, the times we had together, thinking of coming back to you. That kept me alive, that kept me fighting.'

'I grieved every day for you Diane, I spent every day hoping that something like this was true, that you weren't really gone,' said Ric. 'And here you are, almost 3 years later, right in front of me.'

'Yep,' she replied. 'Here I am, and I'm not going anywhere.'

'You're right,' replied Ric. 'Because I'm not letting you go anywhere. My shift finishes in 5 minutes, how about I drive you and Cassie back to your place?'

'Thanks Ric, that would be lovely,' she said gratefully. 'You really are one of the best friends I'll ever have.'

'I'd like to think I'm more than that,' said Ric. 'Especially after everything that's happened in the past. Everything that we've tried to ignore but failed to do.'

'I know,' replied Diane. 'A lot has happened in the last 5 or 6 years. We'll talk later, I promise. We can't really talk about it here, walls have ears.'

'And so does Michael,' replied Ric with a grin.


	3. The Looks

Retreat then Restore...Revisiting the Past

**She went away, and now she's back...but how does she explain the fact that she wasn't dead, and didn't kill herself?**

'_Thanks Ric, that would be lovely,' she said gratefully. 'You really are one of the best friends I'll ever have.'_

'_I'd like to think I'm more than that,' said Ric. 'Especially after everything that's happened in the past. Everything that we've tried to ignore but failed to do.'_

'_I know,' replied Diane. 'A lot has happened in the last 5 or 6 years. We'll talk later, I promise. We can't really talk about it here, walls have ears.'_

'_And so does Michael,' replied Ric with a grin._

'Him too,' said Diane, smiling back at him. 'He's got more arrogance than Dan for sure. I only spoke to him for a minute, but it's plain to see.'

Laughing, Ric said, 'Yep, that's Michael. Right, should we get going?'

Looking at the clock, Diane nodded and said, 'Yes we should. I should be getting Cassie in the bath and putting her to bed. I don't know how badly the jet lag has affected her.'

'What about yours?' asked Ric.

'I was holding on so I could see you, so I didn't feel very tired. But now, well, I won't be holding on for very long. Just long enough to get everything sorted,' said Diane.

'I tell you what,' said Ric, standing up. 'We'll stop by the Chinese takeaway and get some food, I'll help you bath Cassie and put her to bed, and if you're feeling up to it, we can talk.'

'Okay,' said Diane, standing up and laying Cassie in her pram. 'Let's go.'

Standing by her side, Ric began to walk with Diane out of his office and back onto the ward. Nurses began to stare, and Michael walked back over, looking suspicious.

'Ric, who's your friend?' asked Michael curiously.

'Michael, this is Diane Lloyd, an old friend and colleague of mine,' said Ric slowly.

'Wait wait wait a second,' said Michael in confusion. 'Diane Lloyd as in _the _Diane Lloyd, the Diane Lloyd that killed herself almost 3 years ago?'

'You say all the right things,' said Diane with a smile. 'I was a witness to a murder, a trafficking ring were involved, I was in danger, so they faked my death and I moved away.'

'You know what?' asked Michael. 'I thought that you were gonna say you were a secret spy.'

'Oh, not quite,' said Diane.

'Ever killed anyone, Miss Secret Undercover Spy?' asked Michael.

'Michael that's a horrific thing to ask!' exclaimed Ric.

'Ric, it's okay,' replied Diane. 'Yes Michael, I did, but only to save my life and my daughter's life. Now we're going, so no more secret spy talk, you might find that we have to silence you.'

'Okay okay okay,' exclaimed Michael. 'Don't set the FBI on me.'

'It's MI5 here Michael, we're not in America,' said Diane, reminding him.

'Awww shucks, really?' asked Michael. 'I had no idea.'

Before he had time to say anything else, Diane and Ric had left, leaving him behind.

'Aww man!' said Michael.

Walking back to the car, Diane and Ric received some very confused and freaked out looks from other people. Diane was beginning to think that it was a mistake to come back, she didn't want to have to explain it to everyone every 5 seconds why she wasn't dead.

'Don't worry Diane,' said Ric quietly into her ear. 'Ignore them, I'm right her beside you.'

She carried on walking with her head held high, what Ric said giving her the confidence to let the looks pass her by, to simply ignore them.

They arrived at the car and saw Elliot pulling into a nearby parking space. Once he had got out of the car, his face dropped then lit up when he saw Diane.

Running as fast he could, Elliot came over to Diane.

Breathless, he said, 'You're alive.'

'Yes I am Elliot,' she said happily. 'Alive, safe from harm, a mother, life's good.'

'How are you alive?' asked Elliot, still breathless. 'I got the phone call from the Police, Ric sat by your body bag in the morgue.'

'It was a fake,' said Diane honestly. 'I saw something I wasn't meant to see, it linked to organised crime, they faked my death and I moved away. The ring that were behind it have been locked away, so now I'm back.'

'To cut a long story short,' said Ric.

'Wow, that's so out of the ordinary,' said Elliot. 'You never hear stories like that around here. I have to be going, Connie's already been on the phone complaining.'

Laughing, Diane said, 'That sounds like Connie alright. I'll catch up with you later.'

'Okay, I'll give you a call,' said Elliot, walking away.

'Let's get you home,' said Ric with a smile, opening the door to the back seat for Diane to put Cassie in.


	4. Taking Her Home

Retreat then Restore...Revisiting the Past

**She went away, and now she's back...but how does she explain the fact that she wasn't dead, and didn't kill herself?**

_I own nothing. This song is Electric Storm by Delta Goodrem, which I don't own either._

Driving to Diane's place, everything was silent apart from the radio, which played quietly in the background.

_**Fighting for no reward  
Cold in the rain I'm tossing and turning your words ever burning my heart  
Love's an electric storm of pleasure and pain where thunder and lightening are crashing And  
Striking us down**_

Two people shipwrecked  
Stranded alone  
Praying for dry land to save our souls  
Hurricane season just knocked us down  
Emotional suicides running the ground

Fighting for no reward  
Cold in the rain I'm tossing and turning your words ever burning my heart  
Love's an electric storm of pleasure and pain where thunder and lightening are crashing And  
Striking us

I won't give up never never  
I won't be struck by the weather  
Hold on when the wind's so strong  
Tell me how can we find our way home in love's electric storm

Feels like our last chance to get out alive  
Will we survive this treacherous night  
Predators waiting circling around  
Sky full of fireworks burn without sound

Fighting for no reward  
Cold in the rain I'm tossing and turning your words ever burning my heart  
Love's an electric storm of pleasure and pain where thunder and lightening are crashing And  
Striking us

I won't give up never never  
I won't be struck by the weather  
Hold on when the wind's so strong  
Tell me how can we find our way home in loves electric storm

Have we never been stronger?  
Have we never been tighter?  
But we're close to the wire again  
Have we never been safer?

Fighting for no reward  
Cold in the rain I'm tossing and turning your words ever burning my heart  
Love's an electric storm of pleasure and pain where thunder and lightening are crashing And  
Striking us down

I won't give up never never  
I won't be struck by the weather  
Hold on when the wind's so strong  
Tell me how can we find our way home  
Tell me how can we find our way home  
In love's electric storm

As the song played, Ric couldn't help but think about everything Diane had been through, all of the trauma, and she found her way home. To him. But then her words earlier burnt a hole in his heart.

'_Thanks Ric, that would be lovely,' she said gratefully. 'You really are one of the best friends I'll ever have.'_

Friends? Friends? After everything they had been through? After everything she went through to get him to notice her? After Ghana? After the bond they shared as soul mates?

He knew he'd never done right by Diane, he was sure of it. He didn't deserve her and he knew it. But had those feelings he knew she possessed completely disappeared? He hoped that they hadn't, because feelings that fierce, and with that much love and passion, they couldn't, no, shouldn't be allowed to fade into the background and become nothing.

His thoughts were broken by Diane saying, 'Ric? You've taken a wrong turning.'

'Oh, right,' he said, making a U-Turn and going down the right road.

'So whereabouts is this house of yours then?' he asked with a warm smile.

'It's the block of flats on Hendon Street,' said Diane quietly.

'Ohhh,' said Ric gently. 'You should've come straight to me. You and Cassie are welcome anytime.'

'I know,' she replied with a yawn. 'But I needed some independence. Even if it is in a grotty, hole in the wall, ground-floor flat in the worst part of town. We'll be fine, it just needs decorating.'

'I'll come and help you one day,' said Ric with a smile.

'You don't have to worry about us Ric,' said Diane quietly.

'Well I do, and will carry on doing so,' he said defiantly. 'I care very much about the two of you. I want you to be safe.'

Not replying and attempting to change the subject, she said, 'It's a left over there, then we'll be here.'

'Okay,' he replied softly, not wanting to push her.

He gently pulled the car over by the block of flats, and got out of the car, walking to Diane's side door and opening it, beckoning for her to come out.

'Thank you,' she said gently, getting out and moving to the back door to get Cassie out.

'Let's get you inside,' said Ric, wrapping his arm around Diane's waist.


	5. Bonding

Retreat then Restore...Revisiting the Past

**She went away, and now she's back...but how does she explain the fact that she wasn't dead, and didn't kill herself?**

Just a word of warning to all...My exams start in May and there's going to be a lot of pressure on me workwise until the end of June. So posts may be sparse.

_He gently pulled the car over by the block of flats, and got out of the car, walking to Diane's side door and opening it, beckoning for her to come out._

_'Thank you,' she said gently, getting out and moving to the back door to get Cassie out._

_'Let's get you inside,' said Ric, wrapping his arm around Diane's waist._

Getting her key out of her pocket and opening the door, Diane went inside with Cassie in her arms, followed by Ric.

Straight away, before an awkward silence had the chance to develop, Diane said, 'I should get Cassie ready for bed.'

'Okay, I'll help you,' he said warmly, following her into the bathroom.

'Can you hold her while I get some things out of the suitcase?' she asked. '5 minutes tops.'

'Okay,' he replied, holding out his arms for Cassie.

Placing her into his arms gently, Diane kissed the baby's cheek and got up to leave the room.

Once she had left, Ric held Cassie close and looked into her eyes.

'You look so much like your Mummy, you know that?' he asked. 'You're so beautiful. It's sad that you've been through so much, and you're still so little. But I bet you're strong like your Mummy. And she named you after some very special people, well, apart from me. Your grandma Cassandra, I met her, she was a great lady, very funny and caring, and the best cook in the world. Joanne, well, that's after your auntie, she was very special to your Mummy too, maybe one day your Mummy can take you to meet Joanne's son, your cousin Jack. He'll be about 5 now, wow, how quickly does time go by? But why Rica? Cassie and Joanne are after people your Mummy loved, so does using Rica mean that she loves me? I hope she does, because I love her too. She's always been the one for me. Hasn't she?'

Cassie gurgled in reply.

'What am I doing asking a baby for relationship advice?' asked Ric, talking to himself. 'I should just talk to your Mum. Once you're in bed, and if she's feeling up to it, we'll talk then.'

Diane returned a few minutes later, to find Ric still in deep conversation with Cassie.

'You're having a conversation with a practically newborn baby?' asked Diane, smiling.

'She's given me some good advice actually,' he said, returning her smile.

'Right then,' said Diane. 'Follow me, we're off to the bathroom to give little Miss Smelly a bath.'

Ric actually felt like he was bonding with Cassie as he helped Diane to bathe her. But he couldn't help noticing the little knowing touches being passed between him and Diane, a lingering hand here, a gentle smile there and being splashed.

Once Cassie had been dried and changed into her pajamas, Diane said, 'I'm just going to go and put her to bed, can you ring up the Chinese place and order some food?'

'Sure,' he said. 'What do you want?'

'Uhh, can you order some chicken chow mein and garlic vegetables for me?' asked Diane.

'Okay,' he said, going to find the phone.

Lying Cassie down into the carry cot that she had in the suitcase, Diane made sure that her daughter was comfortable and warm, adding an extra blanket over her and putting her favourite teddy and comfort blanket close to her.

As Cassie wriggled, refusing to go to sleep, Diane sat on the floor beside her, and reached her hand into the cot, stroking her daughter's face gently. As Cassie wasn't settling, she began to sing softly to her.

_**Hush now my baby  
Be still and don't cry,  
sleep like you're rocked by the stream  
Sleep and remember, my lullaby  
and I'll be with you when you dream**_

Drift on a river  
that flows through my arms  
Drift as I'm singing to you,  
I see you smiling, so peaceful and calm  
Holding you I'm smiling too

Here in my arms  
safe from all harm  
holding you I'm smiling too

Hush now my baby  
Be still and don't cry,  
sleep like you're rocked by the stream  
Sleep and remember, my lullaby  
and I'll be with you when you dream

Here in my arms  
safe from all harm  
holding you I'm smiling too

Sleep and remember, this river lullaby  
I'll be with you when you dream  
(2x)

I'll be with you when you dream

'I'll always be here,' said Diane. 'Through everything, I'll always be by your side. God gave me a chance to be a Mummy, and brought me you, my little blessing, my little miracle. Even though we've been through so much, we've come out stronger, and we're home now, we're safe.'

Noticing that Cassie had drifted off to sleep, Diane gave her a quick kiss and left the room, seeing Ric outside.

'That was beautiful,' said Ric. 'It's been years since I've heard you sing.'

'I don't do it very often,' said Diane. 'Except when I sing Cassie a lullaby. When we were running away from Gavin when I was pregnant with her, she used to get restless, and I used to sing to her, and she'd be still. I've sung it to her every bedtime and every time she was restless.'

'That's sweet,' said Ric, squeezing her shoulder softly. 'Chinese place said 10 minutes.'

'Okay,' she replied, not being able to focus because his hands were on her skin, setting it alight, intensifying everything around her and making her heart race.


	6. Chinese

Retreat then Restore...Revisiting the Past

**She went away, and now she's back...but how does she explain the fact that she wasn't dead, and didn't kill herself?**

Just a word of warning to all...My exams start in May and there's going to be a lot of pressure on me workwise until the end of June. So posts may be sparse.

'_That's sweet,' said Ric, squeezing her shoulder softly. 'Chinese place said 10 minutes.'_

'_Okay,' she replied, not being able to focus because his hands were on her skin, setting it alight, intensifying everything around her and making her heart race._

Walking back into the living room, Diane and Ric both sat down on the sofa.

'I never would've imagined that you'd come back to me,' he said softly. 'It feels like only yesterday that Elliot told me. I got so drunk and tried to operate, Thandie was lecturing me on how I felt for you, it was all piling up on top of me.'

'I know,' she said quietly and tearfully, pulling him into a close hug and kissing him on the cheek. 'But I'm here for good now, and I'm not going anywhere.'

'Good,' said Ric. 'We can talk properly, find out what's going on, after dinner of course.'

'Naturally,' she replied, squeezing his hand.

Looking into each other's eyes, there was silence, on the awkward/comfortable borderline, the silence being broken by the ringing of the doorbell.

'I'll get it,' said Ric, picking up his wallet and leaving the room.

Sitting down on the sofa, Diane's mind was in a whirl. They needed to talk, fast, for her sanity.

He returned with the bag of Chinese and forks.

'Chicken chow mein for you, beef and black bean sauce for me, and garlic vegetables to share,' he said, handing her the food.

'Yum, I'm starving,' she said, taking a fork and tucking in straight away. 'The food that they served on the plane was beyond inedible.'

'I know the feeling,' he said, starting to eat his beef. 'But I found that it made me appreciate good food a hell of a lot more.'

Her mouth full of food, Diane nodded in agreement. Once she had swallowed, she said, 'I mean, living in Australia was alright, food wise, but you could never get a decent Chinese. It's what I miss about home. Did you ever find out what happened to my flat?'

'Well, the landlord cleared out your stuff and gave it to your parents, then reletted it I think,' he said.

'Hmm, I'll have to go and get everything from mum and dad,' she pondered. 'Will have to explain to them that I'm alive, and how they are now grandparents. I can hardly wait!'

'Sarcasm was never your forte,' he said, picking up the containers and taking them outside. 'At least there's no washing up.'

'That I'm thankful for,' she said.

'Did you know that there's damp in here?' asked Ric in astonishment.

'It wouldn't surprise me,' she said, rolling her eyes. 'This place is a dump, I'm going to have to get some dehumidifiers for mine and Cassie's room, I don't want that mould making her ill.'

'You need to find a decent place,' said Ric, returning to the room. 'One that you and Cassie can feel safe in, not one on a shoddy estate with gangs and damp.'

'Those things cost Ric,' she said quietly.

'I know,' said Ric, sitting beside her and squeezing her hand. 'You'll get there. I'll help you.'

She looked up at him and gave a small smile, she felt extreme relief that he was there for her, that he'd help her. The thought of doing this alone scared her more than anything.

'We can talk now,' she said quietly, not lifting her head up.

'We will,' said Ric. 'But suddenly, I am craving a nice sugary cup of tea. Do you want any?'

'Sure, do you remember how I have it?' she asked.

'Strong with 3 sugars? How could I forget?' he asked with a wink, leaving the room.

Once he had left, Diane had noticed her extreme tiredness, a combination of jet lag, the feeling of being free and not having to hide, plus the stress of her day. She decided to close her eyes, just until Ric came in. Then they'd talk.

He returned to the room with two cups of tea, and saw her curled up on the sofa, sleeping soundly. Putting down the tea, he scooped her up gently, and carried her into the bedroom. Placing her into bed, he covered her up with the blanket, and kissed her forehead.

'We'll talk tomorrow,' he said gently. 'You need your sleep, it's been a hard day. But you and Cassie are safe now, I'll make sure of it.'


	7. Morning

Retreat then Restore...Revisiting the Past

**She went away, and now she's back...but how does she explain the fact that she wasn't dead, and didn't kill herself?**

Just a word of warning to all...My exams start in May and there's going to be a lot of pressure on me workwise until the end of June. So posts may be sparse.

**I am posting like a well oiled machine these past few days, there's inspiration in the air.**

She woke the next morning, in her bedroom, fully clothed. She found herself wondering how she got there, and put it down to falling asleep because of her jet lag, her endless struggle to stay awake to sort everything out the previous day.

Stretching and leaning towards the clock to check the time, she realised that it was 10am, and Cassie hadn't woke her up. She always woke her up, 6am on the dot. Something was wrong.

Looking over to the cot by her bedside, Diane sat up in alarm when she realised that Cassie wasn't in there.

Leaping out of bed, she threw on her dressing gown and said out loud, 'They promised me it was over, that they were all gone. How did they find us? CASSIE!'

Opening the door, she ran into the living room, to find Ric sitting on the sofa, feeding Cassie a warm bottle and laughing as she so eagerly drank it down.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Diane said, 'Thank God!'

'Morning Diane,' he said, passing her a cup of tea. 'Have been up since 8, did a little bit of food shopping, came back here and heard this little one stirring, so I thought that I should get her up and feed her so that you could sleep. What was that shouting about?'

'I thought that Gavin's minions had come and taken her away,' she said quietly. 'It's my worst nightmare, that there's still some of them out there, that they're looking for us. That one day they'll find us, and take my baby away. I can't let it happen Ric, I can't. She's my baby.'

Passing Cassie to Diane, Ric held her close and said, 'I'm not going to let anything like that happen. Ever. You and Cassie will be safe, I promise. I'll look after the both of you.'

'12 months of having her everywhere with me,' said Diane, starting to sob, while watching Cassie grin. '9 months of pregnancy, 3 months of life. Not trusting anyone to watch her, in case Gavin's men found us. What have I become Ric? I go off on one when it would've been obvious that she was here with you!'

'Hey, hey, hey,' he said, lifting her chin up. 'I'd expect you to be untrusting. You trusted Gavin, and he betrayed you in the worse way one person can to another. Give yourself a break.'

'Okay,' she said quietly, wiping her eyes. 'I better go and get Cassie changed.'

'And while you do that, I will make some breakfast,' he said cheerfully. 'Do you fancy a fry up?'

'Do I fancy a fry up?' she asked, repeating his question. 'Ask a silly question Ric, I haven't had a decent one since before I left for Australia!'

'Take that as a yes then,' he said jubilantly. 'And every fry up you've ever eaten, apart from mine, have never been decent.'

'Have fun fitting through the door, big head,' she said, poking her tongue out and leaving the room.

'You've changed your tune,' said Ric. 'You were crying a minute ago.'

'My baby's safe, and you're here. I don't need to cry,' she said.


	8. Talking About Us

Retreat then Restore...Revisiting the Past

**She went away, and now she's back...but how does she explain the fact that she wasn't dead, and didn't kill herself?**

Just a word of warning to all...My exams start in May and there's going to be a lot of pressure on me workwise until the end of June. So posts may be sparse.

**I am posting like a well oiled machine these past few days, there's inspiration in the air.**

'_My baby's safe, and you're here. I don't need to cry,' she said._

That sentence echoed in Ric's head for the next few hours, resonating over and over again. He felt pure honour that she was happy that he was here, and that perhaps, being around him made her feel safe.

It was 2 o clock now, lunch had been eaten and Diane had just put Cassie down for her afternoon nap.

Emerging from the kitchen, she placed a hot cup of tea into his hands, gave him a warm and gentle smile, then sat down beside him on the sofa.

'Well,' she said slowly, taking a small sip of her tea then placing it on the table. 'Cassie's fast asleep now, we have about 2 hours until she wakes up for another feed.'

'So we have time to talk?' he asked.

'Yes we do,' she said quietly. 'Where do you want to start?'

'Before we even start to look into the future,' he said. 'I want to revisit our past.'

'Okay,' she said in almost a whisper.

'I just want to know if you felt the same way as I did in those situations, if you saw what happened in the same light as I did. I want some things answered,' he said.

Pausing for a while, he said, 'When you were in medical school, when we were together, and I proposed to you...Did you say no because of Fryer?'

Looking up at him, her eyes glistening, she nodded, 'He took away my confidence. I felt ashamed that I was too weak to fight him off, to stop what happened from happening. I felt dirty Ric. He made me feel like I was always being rolled in the filthiest mud. He damaged my mind; I was emotionally unstable after it happened. I didn't want you to have to put up with my mood swings and my depression, it wouldn't have been fair on you. I felt like I'd been unfaithful to you, and I couldn't marry you knowing what he'd taken away from me. It would've been a completely different situation if Fryer had left me alone.'

'Diane,' he said softly. 'I never did understand why you left me, why you said no. But, after it came out what Fryer did to you, I was beginning to start to understand. But you weren't weak, he was too strong. You weren't dirty, he was dirty. You weren't mentally damaged, he was. You weren't unfaithful to me, he was unfaithful to his wife. I would've supported you, I would've helped you get better. We could've been so happy.'

'I know,' she said quietly. 'We could've had children by now.'

'Yes, we could've,' he replied. 'But everything went backwards....'

'Until Ghana,' she said softly. 'I know how and what I felt then, but what did you feel?'

'So many emotions,' said Ric. 'Envy, lust, grief, guilt, anger, love. Envy towards Owen, he had you, I didn't. Lust because you were there, and we could've made something of the unresolved sexual tension between us. Grief of a love lost, grief for my dad when we were at his grave. Guilt for wanting to take you away from Owen. Anger for not doing something to show you how I felt earlier. And pure, raw love, for you. Because you've always been the only one who knew me 100%, who could read my mind and change my thoughts.'

'I felt the same way,' said Diane. 'Everything would've been so much simpler if we'd just said yes earlier. So much has changed.'

'But can we survive it?' asked Ric.

'We always do,' replied Diane. 'I'm going to be straight with you. I don't know if we should be together, my heart can decide but my head refuses to. I think that we should try. But I don't want to rush things. Because that's where our relationships have their downfall.'

'I understand,' replied Ric truthfully. 'Shall we start with dinner? I'll make us a special meal, wine, candles, flowers, once Cassie's in bed.'

'Sounds good,' she replied with a smile, leaning over to him and planting a small, chaste kiss on his cheek.


	9. The Date

Retreat then Restore...Revisiting the Past

**She went away, and now she's back...but how does she explain the fact that she wasn't dead, and didn't kill herself?**

Just a word of warning to all...My exams start in May and there's going to be a lot of pressure on me workwise until the end of June. So posts may be sparse.

**I am posting like a well oiled machine these past few days, there's inspiration in the air.**

'_But can we survive it?' asked Ric._

'_We always do,' replied Diane. 'I'm going to be straight with you. I don't know if we should be together, my heart can decide but my head refuses to. I think that we should try. But I don't want to rush things. Because that's where our relationships have their downfall.'_

'_I understand,' replied Ric truthfully. 'Shall we start with dinner? I'll make us a special meal, wine, candles, flowers, once Cassie's in bed.'_

'_Sounds good,' she replied with a smile, leaning over to him and planting a small, chaste kiss on his cheek._

Before this morning, Ric had intended to ask Diane out for a meal at a restaurant, but after the incident with her panicking about Cassie, he knew that she trusted no one with her daughter. He didn't blame her, trusting people had got her nowhere, but he sincerely hoped that she would come around when she knew that she wouldn't be put in that same situation again.

But it would take time, and he understood that. He was just thankful that she agreed to this date.

He had ran home to get a clean shirt and trousers, and had gone shopping to get the ingredients for the meal he was planning on making them. He was going to make them Diane's favourite Ghanaian dish, Kentumere, which was fish and spinach in tomatoes, and jollof rice, which was a simple rice dish flavoured with ham, peppers, cabbage and green beans.

For dessert, he was planning on making them Bananas Ghana, which was simply roasted bananas with cinnamon and sugar.

Ric wanted to bring back the memories of their time in Ghana, the good times that they enjoyed together, before these tragedies occurred.

As he cooked, Diane came into the kitchen, and looked over the pot.

'Ahh,' she said, inhaling deeply. 'Kentumere, jollof rice and Bananas Ghana?'

'You know your Ghanaian smells,' he replied with a smile.

'You can never forget true Ghanaian food once you have tasted it,' said Diane. 'I practically lived on these dishes when we were out there.'

'These are the best ones, I have to admit,' said Ric.

'As much as I would love to stand here and smell this gorgeous food, I have to go and get ready,' she said with a smile and a final sniff.

'You don't have to get ready Diane, it's just the two of us,' said Ric.

'I know,' she admitted. 'But I want to feel beautiful.'

'You are beautiful anyway,' replied Ric. 'But go ahead. Dinner will be ready in 20 minutes.'

'Okay,' she replied, getting up and leaving the room.

She returned 15 minutes later, smelling of a gentle citrus perfume, and wearing a deep blue silk blouse and grey trousers.

'You look beautiful,' he said, kissing her cheek and leading her into the dining room, where the table was set beautifully, a nice bottle of wine awaiting them, and tonnes of candles lit.

'It's beautiful in here,' she remarked, not believing that her grotty little flat could become this. She sat down and placed a napkin over her lap, her taste buds tingling in anticipation to eat Ghanaian cuisine once again.

Disappearing from the room, Ric reappeared a few minutes later with 2 plates of Kentumere and jollof rice. Placing it on the table, he took 2 glasses, and poured a generous amount of wine into each for them, and handed one glass to Diane.

Taking a sip, she placed the glass back down onto the table and began to eat, groaning softly as the first mouthful entered her mouth. She carried on eating it, as fast as she could without getting indigestion, but fast enough that it was finished pretty quickly.

'Oh God, this is too good,' she said. 'So much better than I remember it.'

'Well, you've only eaten Kumi and Abra's Kentumere and jollof rice,' said Ric. 'Mine is so much better.'

'I have no doubt about that,' said Diane softly.

'You know that Abra took a fancy to you?' asked Ric.

Laughing Diane said sarcastically, 'I actually had no idea. Honestly, it was quite embarrassing. But I only had eyes for you.'

'And I for you,' replied Ric honestly. 'Diane, listen to me. I know how I feel about you 100%, and I know that, even though our relationship has had problems and we've both made mistakes, I want to be with you more than I want to live, to eat, to breathe, to sleep. I am in love with you so deeply and so truly that I would give my life to spare yours. Please tell me that you feel the same way Diane.'

Looking down at her plate, she replied, 'I do. I love you. I know that I do. My head has cleared, and it's telling me that this is the right thing. I want to be with you more than anything, if you'll still have me.'

Standing up and kneeling down beside her, Ric looked up at her and said, 'Don't be silly Diane. Of course I want you.'

Leaning up to her, he captured her lips in a passionate kiss, letting her know how much he had missed her, and how much he was looking forward to their life together.

'Ric,' she said quietly into his ear. 'Make love to me.'

Picking her up, he took her to the bedroom and showed her truly how much he'd missed being in her arms.

**Sorry for the lack of smut, I am actually hopeless at writing it. So will have to leave it to your imaginations.**


	10. The Morning After

Retreat then Restore...Revisiting the Past

**She went away, and now she's back...but how does she explain the fact that she wasn't dead, and didn't kill herself?**

Just a word of warning to all...My exams start in May and there's going to be a lot of pressure on me work wise until the end of June. So posts may be sparse.

**I am posting like a well oiled machine these past few days, there's inspiration in the air.**

_Leaning up to her, he captured her lips in a passionate kiss, letting her know how much he had missed her, and how much he was looking forward to their life together._

'_Ric,' she said quietly into his ear. 'Make love to me.'_

_Picking her up, he took her to the bedroom and showed her truly how much he'd missed being in her arms._

The next morning came in a heartbeat, no period of time could ever be long enough for Ric to be with Diane, and for Diane to be with Ric.

As they stirred from sleep, both of their minds were full of thought about each other, what they hoped for in the future, and mapping out their lives together.

Ric's eyes opened first, and, noticing that Diane was still asleep, he kept as still as he could, watching her sleep. To him, she was like an angel, so peaceful and innocent, subjected to the cruellest side of human nature. And Ric was determined to rekindle her faith in the world, that it was not all bad.

To Ric, there was nothing more soothing, more blissful to watch than his angel sleep in his arms, after a night of tender love making, her hair slightly askew, her body bare and her face flushed. He couldn't actually remember a time where he had been happier, more content, than when he was with Diane, holding her close, and dreaming of a deliriously happy future with her and Cassie.

Hearing Cassie stirring, Ric sat up and got out of bed, pulling on some boxers then getting Cassie out of her cot.

Sitting back down on the bed, Cassie in his arms, Ric said, 'Shh Cassie, we don't want to wake your mum.'

She let out a small cry, which made Diane change position slightly.

'Shh, shh, shh,' said Ric, rocking her gently, trying to think of a way to calm Cassie.

And then he remembered. His mother's Ghanaian lullaby, which always calmed him as a child. He would sing that to her.

_**Tue tue, barima tue tue  
Tue tue, barima tue tue  
Abofra ba a ma da wa da wa  
Tue tue  
Abofra ba a ma da wa da wa  
Tue tue  
Barima tue tue  
Barima tue tue  
Barima tue tue  
Barima tue tue  
Barima tue tue  
Barima tue tue**_

The song seemed to have served it's purpose as Cassie had calmed considerably, and was now cooing gently at Ric.

Turning over, Diane woke up and said, 'Morning.'

Giving her a quick kiss, Ric said, 'Mm, morning.'

'I see my little madam woke you up,' replied Diane with a smile, seeing Cassie smiling in Ric's arms.

'I was already awake,' said Ric. 'Then she started to wake up, so I sang her a Ghanaian lullaby and she calmed down a bit.'

'Your mother's lullaby?' asked Diane.

'How did you know?' asked Ric with a soft smile.

'Kumi told me that you'd both passed the tradition down to your children,' said Diane gently.

'Yeah,' said Ric. 'It's just something we held onto.'

'I understand,' replied Diane. 'Especially for you, as your children weren't raised in Ghana. It's something to remind them of where they came from.'

Taking Cassie from Ric and lying her down in the middle of the bed, Diane shifted so that Cassie was between them, both of them cuddling her close.

'This is nice,' said Diane.

'It is,' replied Ric.

'I could stay here forever,' said Diane.

'Ah, I wish that I could, but I have to go to work,' said Ric with a sigh.

'It's hard when our own little bubble bursts, isn't it?' asked Diane. 'When we realise that it's not just the three of us in the world, but there's work and more responsibilities.'

'But we have each other,' replied Ric, kissing her softly.

'Yes we do,' said Diane softly. 'And I never want that to change.'

'Me either.'


	11. The Phone Call

Retreat then Restore...Revisiting the Past

**She went away, and now she's back...but how does she explain the fact that she wasn't dead, and didn't kill herself?**

Just a word of warning to all...My exams start in May and there's going to be a lot of pressure on me work wise until the end of June. So posts may be sparse.

'_It's hard when our own little bubble bursts, isn't it?' asked Diane. 'When we realise that it's not just the three of us in the world, but there's work and more responsibilities.'_

'_But we have each other,' replied Ric, kissing her softly._

'_Yes we do,' said Diane softly. 'And I never want that to change.'_

'_Me either.'_

As they gazed into each other's eyes, they were interrupted by Diane's ringing mobile.

'Diane Lloyd?' asked the voice. It was the voice of a woman, she sounded Welsh, and mature, middle aged perhaps?

'Yes, speaking. Who is this?' she asked.

'Gwendolyn Cunnick,' she replied quietly. 'Gavin's mother, Cassidy's grandmother.'

'What do you want?' said Diane angrily. 'I have nothing to say to you after what your lowlife of a son did to Cassie and I!'

'Please,' she begged. 'I just want to talk.'

'What do you want to talk about Gwendolyn?' she shouted. 'How your son was involved in organised crime? How he tried to kill me and your granddaughter? How he had a gun to my womb? How I wrestled it away from him and killed him?'

'I was willing to hear you out Diane, I know what my son did...but I can plainly see that you have the heart of a cold blooded killer. You killed a man, you're unmarried, and you're living in a grotty council flat. I'm going to sue for custody of my granddaughter,' her voice increasing volume as she spoke.

Seeing the perturbation on Diane's face, Ric took the phone and said, 'She may be unmarried, but she won't be for long. I'm Ric Griffin, her fiancée.'

'Well Ric Griffin,' she said snootily. 'I'll see you in court.'

'Bring it on,' said Ric, slamming the phone down.

The room was quiet for a little while as both Ric and Diane tried to digest what was said.

'She knows where I live,' said Diane quietly. 'I've been here for 2 days and she's found me already?'

'Which means she has a contact...' said Ric.

'It must be at the council here,' replied Diane. 'Only they'd know that I was back in the area.'

The room was awkwardly quiet once more.

'I'm sorry about the marriage thing,' said Ric in almost a whisper. 'It was a spur of the moment thing.'

'Do you want to marry me?' asked Diane.

'More than anything,' said Ric, squeezing her hand. 'But I didn't mean for it to come out this way. You've only been back for a few days, I didn't want to push it.'

'So, we are?' asked Diane.

'Well, I haven't got a ring, but, Diane Lloyd, will you marry me?' he asked. 'I want to be a Dad to Cassie, a husband to you, your friend, your lover, your confidant, everything.'

'Yes I will,' said Diane, pulling him close and kissing him, until Cassie grumbled at the lack of space.

'Sorry Cassie,' said Diane, picking her up and tickling her stomach. 'How do you fancy being a Griffin?'

She cooed gently.

'You have her approval, and you have mine,' said Diane with a smile.

Smiling back, Ric said, 'Firstly, move into my house with Cassie, it kills me to see you both here. And we'll call my lawyer in the morning about Gwendolyn and her pointless custody battle.'

'Thank you,' said Diane quietly. 'You don't have to do all of this for us.'

'I can and I will,' stated Ric. 'I love you.'

'I love you too,' she replied.


	12. Meeting With Max

Retreat then Restore...Revisiting the Past

**She went away, and now she's back...but how does she explain the fact that she wasn't dead, and didn't kill herself?**

Just a word of warning to all...My exams start in May and there's going to be a lot of pressure on me work wise until the end of June. So posts may be sparse.

_Smiling back, Ric said, 'Firstly, move into my house with Cassie, it kills me to see you both here. And we'll call my lawyer in the morning about Gwendolyn and her pointless custody battle.'_

'_Thank you,' said Diane quietly. 'You don't have to do all of this for us.'_

'_I can and I will,' stated Ric. 'I love you.'_

'_I love you too,' she replied._

Seeing as Diane had only been in her flat for a couple of days with Cassie, it didn't take very long for she and Ric to pack up everything and get it over to Ric's house.

There they unpacked everything and put it all away, before going out and buying some paint and furniture for a nursery for Cassie.

Diane finally felt settled in Holby, and she owed all of that to Ric. He'd been so attentive to her, so caring that she was and would continue to be eternally grateful.

Now that everything had been decorated, Diane felt that she could call this house home. It had pieces of her, Ric and Cassie scattered everywhere, and felt so homely that she knew deep inside that they'd all be comfortable here for life.

It was 9am in the morning, and both Diane and Ric were awake, Ric reading the newspaper at the dining room table, and Diane feeding Cassie. It was a content scene, one of familiarity, one of familial love and surety. It was silent because they didn't need words, their silence wasn't awkward, it was completely and utterly comfortable.

'I spoke to Max,' said Ric. 'He said that he could fit us in for an appointment this afternoon, at 2pm.'

'That's good,' said Diane quietly. 'I want this over as soon as possible.'

'Me too,' replied Ric.

'How are we going to pull off this whole engaged thing?' asked Diane in curiosity.

'Well, we want to get married, and we love each other,' replied Ric. 'We don't need to lie about the way that we feel, just how long we've been together.'

'Well, I guess that we can embellish the story a little,' said Diane with a smile. 'How about we were together before I left, and when I came back, you proposed to me?'

'Sounds like a plan,' said Ric. 'I have something for you.'

He slid a midnight blue velvet box across the table to her, and she opened it slowly.

'Ric,' she said in shock at the beautiful white gold ring, set with a deep blue sapphire stone and small diamonds. 'It's beautiful.'

'Only the best for you,' said Ric, moving around to where she was. 'I guess I should do this the proper way.'

Bending down on one knee and taking her hand, Ric said, 'Diane, you know that I love you with everything that I am, so will you marry me?'

'You don't even have to ask Ric, because you know my answer,' said Diane. 'Although you might have to ask for Cassie's blessing...'

'Ahh, of course,' said Ric, turning towards Cassie. 'Little Cassie, is it okay if I marry your mummy? Would you like that?'

As she gurgled in reply, Diane said, 'Well you have her blessing...and mine.'

_Later...Outside Max Youngman's Office._

'Are you okay?' asked Ric, shifting further to Diane, who was sitting beside him, Cassie in a harness strapped to her chest.

'Yeah, I'm good,' replied Diane.

'How come you've put Cassie in the harness?' asked Ric. 'You haven't done that before.'

'I wanted to feel closer to her,' said Diane. 'If Gwendolyn wants Cassie, she'll have to go through me.'

'And me,' replied Ric, squeezing her hand softly.

'Ric Griffin and Diane Lloyd,' said a person from the doorway.

'That's us,' said Ric, helping Diane up and into the office.

As they came in, they were met by Max, an old friend of Ric's who had seen him through all of his divorces.

'Ric, what you told me on the phone barely covered anything, so how about you fill me in properly?' he asked.

'I will leave Diane to fill you in on majority of these circumstances, as it mainly affects her,' replied Ric. 'Is that okay?'

'Yeah,' replied Diane. 'To cut a long story short, I saw something I wasn't meant to see a few years ago, linked to organised crime. As a witness, my death was faked and I went to live in Australia under a new name. The police officer in charge of me, Gavin Cunnick, was the only person who knew my true identity, and what I'd seen. We ended up together for a little while, and conceived Cassie here. I told Gavin that I was pregnant, and he went nuts. He held a gun to my womb, and threatened to kill me. I managed to wrestle the gun from him, and shot him first. I later heard that he'd died as a result of that shot.'

Continuing, Ric said, 'Gavin's mother, Gwendolyn contacted us yesterday. She told us that she'd be filing for sole custody of Cassie, on the basis that Diane was a single mother living in a damp flat and that she had killed Gavin. When, on the other hand, Diane is engaged to me, has moved out of her flat and in with me, and killed Gavin in self defence to save her life and Cassie's.'

'Diane,' said Max. 'What can you tell me about Gwendolyn?'

'I never really met her; we were practically on the other side of the world,' admitted Diane. 'But Gavin did say that she was slightly deranged, and had an unhealthy, beyond motherly attachment to him. He had a son from a previous relationship, and the mother made sure that Gwendolyn couldn't see him because she became obsessed with him, because he was part of Gavin.'

'Well,' said Max. 'From what I have heard, she is definitely not the kind of person you'd want looking after a child. And with what Gavin tried to do to you, they won't hand Cassie to her on the fact that you killed him.'

'You have no idea how happy I am to hear that,' replied Diane with a sigh of relief.


	13. In Court

Retreat then Restore...Revisiting the Past

**She went away, and now she's back...but how does she explain the fact that she wasn't dead, and didn't kill herself?**

Just a word of warning to all...My exams start in May and there's going to be a lot of pressure on me work wise until the end of June. So posts may be sparse.

'_Well,' said Max. 'From what I have heard, she is definitely not the kind of person you'd want looking after a child. And with what Gavin tried to do to you, they won't hand Cassie to her on the fact that you killed him.'_

'_You have no idea how happy I am to hear that,' replied Diane with a sigh of relief._

And it came to that day, the court day. Gwendolyn had been stubborn enough to hold on to the end, and today would give all of them answers, the verdict that Diane and Ric knew would be given, but Gwendolyn would never admit.

'The Family Proceeding's Court will now hear the Cunnick vs Lloyd case,' it was announced. 'Representing Gwendolyn Cunnick we have Linus Newman, and representing Diane Lloyd, Maxwell Youngman. Can we please receive a statement from Mrs Cunnick?'

'We can your honour,' said Mr Newman. 'Mrs Cunnick wishes to receive full custody of her granddaughter, Cassidy-Rica Joanne Lloyd, owing to the fact that Ms Lloyd is an unfit mother to her, lives in unsuitable accommodation for raising a child and was responsible for the death of her son, Gavin Cunnick. She also wishes for you to grant an exclusion order preventing Ms Lloyd from seeing Cassidy as Mrs Cunnick feels that Ms Lloyd is violent.'

'And does Ms Lloyd have anything to say to respond to these allegations?' asked the judge.

'I do Your Honour,' said Diane, standing up. 'I can positively and categorically swear on everything that is holy that I am not violent, and I am a good mother to my child. I no longer live in that flat, which I knew was unsuitable, and am now living with my fiancée Eric Griffin in our home in Holby. And it's true, I am responsible for the death of Gavin Cunnick. As a witness in organised crime, I was sent into witness protection under the care of Mr Cunnick. He tried to kill me when I was pregnant, pushing a gun into my womb, I wrestled it away from him and shot him. I was officially pardoned by the Cardiff Police Department owing to the fact that it was self defence, and my conscience is clear.'

'Thank you Ms Lloyd,' said the judge. 'Do either of you have any witnesses for your case?'

'Your Honour,' said Max, standing. 'We'd like to call Inspector Awbrey of Cardiff Police to the stand.'

'Very well,' replied the judge, signalling for him to be brought in.

'Inspector Awbrey, please state your full name and occupation for the record,' said the judge.

'Aneurin Awbrey, Inspector of the Central Cardiff Police,' stated Mr Awbrey.

'Mr Awbrey,' said Max. 'Can you tell the court what happened surrounding the death of Gavin Cunnick from your perspective?'

'I can,' replied Mr Awbrey. 'I received a phone call from Mr Cunnick in Australia, I gather by accident, and I have a recording of it here, which is part of the evidence of his case for self defence. May I play it?'

'Go ahead,' said the judge.

Holding up a recorder, Awbrey pressed play, and the distortion of that phone call began to play.

'_Gav, what's up man?' asked Aneurin._

'_You're gonna get what's coming to you,' growled Gavin on the other end of the phone as Diane wailed._

'_Gavin, don't do this,' begged Diane in the background._

'_Shut up,' he shouted, making her cry as he rammed the gun harder into her._

'_The baby, please,' begged Diane._

'_Screw the baby, they're not gonna pay me for knocking up a witness and letting her go alive. Sure you were alright for the sex, but did you really think that we'd be something? They want me here to kill you!' shouted Gavin._

'_Please,' begged Diane. 'I won't say a word, just let us go!'_

'_No,' roared Gavin in reply, ramming the gun into Diane's womb. 'I'm gonna kill you and your baby, and collect what's mine.'_

'_Gavin!' yelled Aneurin in shock, making Gavin turn around and look at the phone. _

_As he looked, Diane screamed as she lunged at Gavin, wrestled his gun away from him, and held the gun towards him. As he went for her, trying to crush her windpipe, she shot him once, making him fall to the ground._

_Looking down at Gavin's dead body, Diane began to cry._

'_Hello, hello, hello?' asked Aneurin loudly down the phone, alerting Diane to the noise._

_Weeping loudly and struggling for air, Diane picked up the phone and said, 'Hello?'_

'_Diane? Is that you?' he asked._

'_Yes,' she sobbed._

'_I've heard everything that's happened,' stated Aneurin. 'I'm on your side, I know it was self defence. It's not safe where you are, get your stuff and find somewhere safe. Leave town, go to a separate part of Oz, change your name again.'_

'_Okay,' she said quietly, putting the phone down._

The court began to buzz with low level chatter.

'Order,' stated the judge. 'Right, does Mrs Cunnick have any witnesses?'

'No your honour,' said Mr Newman.

'I do not need any deliberation,' stated the judge. 'It is perfectly clear to me that Diane Lloyd is no criminal psychopath as Mrs Cunnick suggested, in fact a decent human being devoted to her child. So full custody goes to Ms Lloyd and Mr Griffin.'

'You killed him!' yelled Gwendolyn. 'You psychopathic bitch! You killed him!'

Rising from her chair, she went for Diane and punched her in the face, forcing one of the officers to restrain her.

'Enough!' yelled the judge. 'Mrs Cunnick, you will be arrested for assault, and I will be granting an exclusion order in Ms Lloyd's favour. This case is adjourned. Take her away.'

Diane could not help but sigh in relief and smile contentedly that Gwendolyn's true colours had shone through, even though her jaw hurt.


	14. Relief

Retreat then Restore...Revisiting the Past

**She went away, and now she's back...but how does she explain the fact that she wasn't dead, and didn't kill herself?**

Just a word of warning to all...My exams start in May and there's going to be a lot of pressure on me work wise until the end of June. So posts may be sparse.

'_I do not need any deliberation,' stated the judge. 'It is perfectly clear to me that Diane Lloyd is no criminal psychopath as Mrs Cunnick suggested, in fact a decent human being devoted to her child. So full custody goes to Ms Lloyd and Mr Griffin.'_

'_You killed him!' yelled Gwendolyn. 'You psychopathic bitch! You killed him!'_

_Rising from her chair, she went for Diane and punched her in the face, forcing one of the officers to restrain her._

'_Enough!' yelled the judge. 'Mrs Cunnick, you will be arrested for assault, and I will be granting an exclusion order in Ms Lloyd's favour. This case is adjourned. Take her away.'_

_Diane could not help but sigh in relief and smile contentedly that Gwendolyn's true colours had shone through, even though her jaw hurt._

'We'll have it all Diane,' promised Ric as he led her and Cassie out of the court room. 'The whole white picket fence fantasy. I can't wait to marry you.'

'I can't wait to marry you either,' said Diane, snuggling further into him. 'I am so relieved that all of this is over.'

'Me too,' he replied, planting a chaste kiss on her forehead.

'I just hope that Gwendolyn gets the help she needs, I don't think that she's mentally stable,' replied Diane in concern.

Ric, giving a small chuckle, said, 'That's typical you.'

Smiling at him, she said, 'What?'

'She tried to take your baby away from you, she punched you in the face, and you're concerned about her wellbeing?' asked Ric with a laugh. 'You really are the most caring woman that I know.'

'I don't wish her any harm,' said Diane. 'She blames me for the loss of her son, and as psycho as he was, and she is, a parent's love for their child is unconditional. Having Cassie taught me that. No matter how many lines they cross, or how much trouble they get into, to a mother they'll always be as innocent as the day they brought them home from the hospital.'

'Maybe we'll be bringing a bundle of joy home from the hospital some day?' asked Ric, trying to be subtle.

Laughing, Diane replied, 'Ric, subtlety was never your forte. But I do hope that we will, some day. Maybe we should practice tonight?'

'I am feeling in the mood for celebration,' replied Diane. 'We can go home, plan the wedding, and have our own private celebration once Cassie is in bed.'

'Sounds like a plan to me,' replied Ric. 'There is a lot of lost time we have to make up for.'

'Mmm, 3 years,' replied Diane. 'Let's go then.'

Arriving at home, Diane laid Cassie in her cot and soothed her to sleep before going into the kitchen and making a cup of tea for her and Ric.

Sitting down, she handed him the cup, and they drank a sip from it in unison, relishing the warmth of the beverage.

'So,' said Ric, placing his tea cup on the coaster. 'How do you want to get married?'

'You're the expert,' replied Diane with a smile and a wink.

'Ah, touché,' he replied. 'I want you to have the wedding of your dreams. Anything that makes you happy, makes me happy, so what do you want us to do?'

'I want a small wedding,' said Diane. 'Really small, me, you, Cassie and a witness or two.'

'We could ask your parents,' suggested Ric.

Diane winced as if she'd just been hit in the face.

'Are you really going to let them believe that you're dead still?' asked Ric.

'My relationship with my parents is...complicated,' replied Diane quietly.

'I know,' said Ric. 'I know that your dad is a strict control freak, and your mum is a doormat and they never really understood you, but they're your parents. At the very least you can visit them and tell them that you're alive.'

'I could email them,' suggested Diane.

'Like they'd believe it was you,' said Ric. 'You need to visit them, before the wedding.'

'Fine,' said Diane with a huff. 'But you're coming with me.'

'I am okay with that,' replied Ric. 'But you might want to shield me from your dad, because he kind of punched me at the memorial service.'

'Oh,' said Diane. 'That sounds like Dad alright.'

'So, moving back to the subject, wedding,' replied Ric.

'How about Ghana?' replied Diane. 'Ever been married there?'

'Strangely, no,' said Ric with a smile. 'Why choose there?'

'It's where we were happiest,' admitted Diane. 'Before everything went wrong. We didn't care about what issues we had going on back home, we just wanted each other.'

'It's a good reason,' replied Ric with a broad smile. 'So you want a traditional Ghanaian wedding?'

'Very much so,' replied Diane. 'The Ghanaian silk, the traditional music, the bananas Ghana.'

'Well then it will be that way,' replied Ric. 'We'll organise it for around Christmas time, the weather will be more bearable then.'

'Sounds good,' replied Diane. 'And we can invite Kumi and your mum, maybe Abra if he's around.'

'Abra's always hanging around somewhere,' said Ric. 'He won't be too hard to find.'

'So that's sorted then, we'll have a beautiful Ghanaian wedding,' announced Diane.

'Indeed,' replied Ric, pulling her closer to him and hugging her gently.


	15. The Wedding

Retreat then Restore...Revisiting the Past

**She went away, and now she's back...but how does she explain the fact that she wasn't dead, and didn't kill herself?**

Just a word of warning to all...My exams start this month and there's going to be a lot of pressure on me work wise until the end of June. So posts may be sparse.

'_So that's sorted then, we'll have a beautiful Ghanaian wedding,' announced Diane._

'_Indeed,' replied Ric, pulling her closer to him and hugging her gently. _

Several months later, in December, Ric, Diane and Cassie set off to Ghana for the wedding, after uprooting Abra and Kyla and begging them to come to Ghana for a while for the wedding.

'You know that we can't technically have a traditional Ghanaian wedding?' asked Ric.

'I know,' replied Diane. 'I researched it. My parents would have to be there, you'd have to give them some payment, and I would've had to research you to see if you have illegitimate children or have been married before.'

'I spoke to Kumi, and he said that we could have a ceremony with a blessing, the whole white dress thing on the beach, we'd have to go and register our marriage and then there'd be a feast,' said Ric.

'Sounds good,' said Diane.

'To be honest, that's as much as I know,' admitted Ric. 'I have no idea what Kumi's planned.'

'I know that your mother has helped to make my dress, from what I've seen, it's beautiful,' said Diane.

'She always was a talented seamstress,' replied Ric.

There was a comfortable silence between the two of them as they contemplated their futures.

'I can't wait to marry you,' said Diane, squeezing his hand.

'Me either,' replied Ric.

'Once we're back in England,' said Diane. 'Will you adopt Cassie? Will you make her a Griffin?'

'Oh Diane,' he said, pulling her close. 'I'd love nothing more than that.'

'All three of us with the same name,' said Diane quietly.

'Yep,' replied Ric.

'I can't wait to get rid of my surname,' said Diane. 'I've no attachment to it anymore. Especially after what happened.'

'I shouldn't have made you go back and see them,' said Ric. 'I never thought that his reaction would be like that.'

'He couldn't help it,' said Diane. 'He's always been a bit of a bigot, but Mum kept him grounded. Now that she's dead, there's no one to hold him back.'

And she thought back to that day...

'_You're alive!' exclaimed Oliver Lloyd, hugging his daughter closely. 'And I have a grandchild!'_

'_Yes Dad,' she replied. 'I am. Long story, but I was never dead.'_

'_It broke your mum's heart to hear that you'd died. Her heart didn't last too long, after she heard,' replied Oliver sombrely._

'_Oh Dad,' she said softly. 'I never knew.'_

'_What's he doing here?' growled her Dad, noticing Ric._

'_We're getting married Dad,' said Diane proudly._

'_My daughter is not marrying a black man old enough to be her father!' he exclaimed._

'_Dad, I love him, just be happy for me,' begged Diane._

'_Would you choose him over your family?' demanded Oliver._

'_Yes Dad,' she replied._

'_Well then you're no daughter of mine,' he stated cold heartedly. 'You're still dead to me.'_

'_Dad,' she begged, tears flowing from her eyes._

'_Just leave,' growled Oliver._

'A lot of shocks came that day,' said Ric. 'But don't think about it. We're getting married soon, just think about that.'

'I am,' replied Diane. 'Knowing you'll always be there for Cassie and I keeps me alive.'

'I'll never go,' stated Ric.

'Good,' said Diane happily, snuggling into him.

_The Wedding..._

All of Ric's family, joined by Abra and Kyla and some friends from the village of both Ric and Diane's made up the wedding congregation.

Diane was a vision in white silk, gathered together to make a fitting dress, her headdress reflecting the sun's rays. Ric wore a suit made of white material as well, and both of their feet bare against the sand.

_O, God, by your power you have made everything out of nothing. In the beginning you created the universe and made us in your own likeness. You gave man the constant help of woman so that man and woman should no longer be two, but one flesh, and you teach us that what you have united may never be divided._

O, God, you have made the union of man and wife so holy a mystery that it symbolizes the marriage of Christ and his people. O, God, by your plan man and woman are united, and married life has been established as the one blessing that was not forfeited by sin. Look with love upon this woman, your daughter, now joined to her husband in marriage. She asks your blessing. Give her the grace of love and peace. May she always follow the example of the holy women whose praises are sung in the scriptures. May her husband put his trust in her and know that she is his equal and the heir with him to the life of grace. May he always honour her and love her as Christ loves his people.

Keep them always true to your commandments. Keep them faithful in marriage and let them be living examples of Christian life. Give them the strength which comes from the gospel so that they may be witnesses of Christ to others. And, after a happy old age, grant them fullness of life with the saints in the kingdom of heaven. We ask this through Christ our Lord.

'Amen,' said Ric and Diane in unison with the rest of the congregation.

After registering their marriage at a local registry office, the sun was setting, and an ethereal twilight had replaced the sunlight. Fires were lit, and the feast was set up, adorned with flowers.

Smiling at the amazed look on Diane's face, Kumi said, 'Ghanaians do weddings in style. So, Kobina and Amma, take to the sand for your first dance.'

'Why is he calling me Amma?' asked Diane.

'He asked me when you were born,' explained Ric. 'I said a Saturday, and so, in Ghana, Kumi will call you Amma, like he calls me Kobina, which means born on a Tuesday. It's a Ghana thing.'

'Oh, right,' said Diane. 'Well, shall we dance Mr Griffin?'

'Of course Mrs Griffin,' he replied, taking her hand and leading her into the cleared space.

_When I was on the verge of breaking down,  
That's when you came on around,  
Held me up from the ground, it was, you, you, you, you,  
I've been to many places and I've seen so many faces but  
None of them can come close to you, you, you ,you ,you,_


	16. The Ultrasound

Retreat then Restore...Revisiting the Past

**She went away, and now she's back...but how does she explain the fact that she wasn't dead, and didn't kill herself?**

This chapter is the first of two epilogues.

'_Oh, right,' said Diane. 'Well, shall we dance Mr Griffin?'_

'_Of course Mrs Griffin,' he replied, taking her hand and leading her into the cleared space._

_When I was on the verge of breaking down,  
That's when you came on around,  
Held me up from the ground, it was, you, you, you, you,  
I've been to many places and I've seen so many faces but  
None of them can come close to you, you, you ,you ,you,_

Lying down on the uncomfortable, plastic coated bed covered with a thin layer of stiff paper, Diane couldn't think of a worse place to be lying in. But she had a good reason to be here, a positive one. Today was the day that she and Ric would see their baby for the first time.

Cassie was gurgling happy on Ric's lap as she took in her surroundings, slightly different to those that she was used to. Wriggling slightly, Cassie squirmed out of Ric's arms and back onto the floor, making Diane giggle slightly.

'You cheeky cherub,' she said to her 24 month old daughter, who squealed enthusiastically in reply.

'The consultant should be here soon,' said Ric happily. 'I can't wait to see our baby.'

'Me either,' said Diane, stroking her barely there bump gently. 'Cassie, are you excited about being a big sister?'

Looking up, Cassie smiled happily. 'Yah.'

'Good,' replied Diane gently as the consultant entered the room.

'Owen?' asked Diane in confusion at her ex husband who stood before her.

'Diane?' he asked. 'Aren't you meant to be dead?'

'Charming,' said Diane. 'I would've thought that you'd heard that I was still alive. It has been nearly 2 years.'

'Well, I've heard nothing,' he said. 'And you have a daughter, she's beautiful.'

'Thanks,' said Diane. 'And I got married, a year ago.'

'To Ric,' said Owen defeatedly, seeing Ric beside her.

'Yes, to Ric,' she replied.

'That's great,' he replied. 'Well, lie back, and we'll have a look at baby Griffin.'

'Okay,' said Diane, lying back and lifting up her top.

Placing the cold gel on her, Owen began to swirl the Doppler around her abdomen.

'Well, here they are,' replied Owen. 'One perfectly healthy baby, perfect size, no structural abnormalities, and you are just over 12 weeks along, so you'll be having a Christmas baby, but he or she might just miss Christmas Day. I'd say the 26th or 27th December would be your due date.'

'It looks like a peanut,' remarked Ric. 'He or she will probably have the skin colour of a peanut too.'

'Aww Ric, don't be cruel to our little Peanut,' replied Diane, giggling softly.


	17. Christmas Day

Retreat then Restore...Revisiting the Past

**She went away, and now she's back...but how does she explain the fact that she wasn't dead, and didn't kill herself?**

This chapter is the last of two epilogues. Thank you all for reviewing, I have really enjoyed writing this fic. Please check out my other HC fics, there are so many of them. Hope you enjoy reading the final chapter.

'_Well, here they are,' replied Owen. 'One perfectly healthy baby, perfect size, no structural abnormalities, and you are just over 12 weeks along, so you'll be having a Christmas baby, but he or she might just miss Christmas Day. I'd say the 26__th__ or 27__th__ December would be your due date.'_

'_It looks like a peanut,' remarked Ric. 'He or she will probably have the skin colour of a peanut too.'_

'_Aww Ric, don't be cruel to our little Peanut,' replied Diane, giggling softly._

'Merry Christmas my beautiful wife, daughter and peanuts,' said Ric affectionately, climbing back into bed with them, handing Diane a cup of herbal tea.

'Thanks,' said Diane, taking a sip and putting it on the side. 'Are you looking forward to opening your presents Cassie?'

She nodded eagerly.

'Ahh, me too,' replied Diane. 'It's definitely the earliest I've woken up to open presents, it's 4am! But I don't mind, the peanuts are wiggling around like little worms.'

'I still can't believe that Owen didn't notice,' remarked Ric.

'Fight fair Ric,' argued Diane. 'He's not all knowing, he is allowed to screw up. I think that it's good that we're having our little peanuts, one of each. A boy peanut, and a girl peanut.'

'I want to open presents!' protested Cassie.

'Okay Yejide,' replied Ric with a laugh.

'You always call me Yejide dad,' said Cassie. 'What does it mean?'

'It means image of the mother,' replied Diane. 'Your dad calls you it because you look like me.'

'Yes,' replied Ric. 'You're beautiful, both of you. My Yejide and my Ekundayo. Cassie the image of her mother, and Diane, my wife, my sorrow that led to great joy. My beautiful girls.'

'What are you going to call them?' asked Cassie.

'The girl is going to be called Paige Leona Natalie, and the boy is going to be called Patrick Leo Nicholas. The Paige and Patrick is P for Peanut, Leona and Leo for your big brother who's in heaven, and Nicholas and Natalie for Christmas, because they're going to be born soon,' said Diane.

'I like them,' said Cassie.

'Me too,' replied Ric.

'Will you give the peanuts nicknames?' asked Cassie.

'I guess I will,' replied Ric. 'We'll have to wait until they're born.'

'That'll be soon, very soon,' replied Diane.

'How do you know?' asked Ric.

'Dad, it's wet around where Mum is,' said Cassie worriedly.

'Oh My God!' exclaimed Ric.

'Precisely,' replied Diane. 'Patrick and Paige are coming, now!'

'I'll ring an ambulance,' said Ric, leaning over to get his phone. 'We'll get you to the hospital darling, I promise...'

_At the hospital..._

'They're adorable,' said Diane, cooing at their little faces sleeping away, cuddled next to each other in the crib.

'Yes they are,' replied Ric.

'They're squishy!' squealed Cassie. 'What are their nicknames?'

'Well Yejide,' said Ric. 'I think that Paige is going to be nicknamed Monifa, which means I am lucky, and Patrick will be nicknamed Ngozi, which means blessing.'

'What languages are they?' asked Cassie.

'Some are Yoruba, and some are Igbo. They're two of the languages spoken in Ghana, where Daddy's from and where Mummy and Daddy got married,' said Ric.

'Ohhh,' said Cassie. 'Are you still going to call them peanuts?'

'Of course,' replied Diane with a chuckle, sending the room into laughter.

'I am so lucky,' said Ric. 'I have a proper little family, and I love it. My 3 beautiful girls and my handsome son.'

'And you Daddy,' said Cassie with a smile.


End file.
